Love and Logic Parenting

just saw some YouTube clips of 'Love and Logic,' and absorbed these new goals for our parenting:

- Speak with excitement about your job (if only to your spouse/another adult) in the hearing of your children. This is also helpful in promoting education e.g. "I'm so glad I went to college so I could get this job."

- Speak with excitement about what you learn each day (Also a good inter-spouse habit). For me, this took form yesterday as relating what I've been learning in 1 Kings 8 and Nancy Pearcy's book 'Saving Leonardo.'

- "Energy Drain". When The Pooklet whines or disobeys, we moan "Energy Drain!" and tell him that (whichever disagreeable behavior of his) drains Mommy and Daddy of their energy (and this makes it hard for us to play). "What do you think you can do to put energy back in Mommy/Daddy??" we ask him. Then, and most crucially, we suggest something helpful, rather than responding with a Love and Logic no-no: Telling the child to do something (Stop it! Come here! Hurry up!), which is usually ineffective. The only thing I could think of doing the first time I tried this, was to tell him to go to his room and count to 10, which he gladly did, probably because it seemed like a game. But it interrupted the annoyance and, most importantly, directed me to do something constructive rather than harsh, generic, and emotional.

- Empathize with your child's sadness. We've encountered this before from other sources in the way of matching your child's emotional state and stating/restating the reason for his woe. This is another handy device for thinking instead of acting out of annoyance and, sometimes more importantly, more effective at stopping the immediate problem.