Monday, August 20, 2007
Ahh, children
The Pookies sat their first babies on Saturday, experiencing 1-yr old and 2-yr old boys and the feeding, changing, crying, playing, and sleeping entailed therein. We take comfort in what their parents and what our own logic tells us- that our ineffectiveness Saturday night and resultant feeling of helplessness diminishes or disappears with familiarity, and when our little boy is the age of their youngest, we will be more of a comfort to him than we were to other parents' children.
It's especially comforting to know that God does wonderful things within institutions of selflessness. Marriage, for example is an incomparable means to what I call the liberation of servitude, a humility of mind that frees you up to serve your beloved spouse unconditionally. Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Raising children is also a humbling experience. Yet, "Children are a blessing from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward… Blessed is the man who fills his quiver full of them!" (Psalm 127:3,5)
Today Al Mohler commented on the reign of selfishness in the hearts of those who eschew children for self and comfort in the context of Europe's endangered population replacement rates. Mohler shares insights from Azure magazine's Noah Pollack on http://almohler.com/
"The explanation for Europe's turn from reproducing its civilization is, in fact, as simple and self-contained as how children themselves are viewed. People avoid having children not because they are irreligious, lack financial means, fear the possibility of divorce, or carry university degrees. Rather, people do not have children because they do not want them: They find the curtailment of personal freedom and the assumption of the decades-long obligation inherent in parenthood unattractive, and they do not want to accept the basic restructuring of life that having a family requires. This is not a product of objective economic or social factors; rather, it is a subjective judgment about the meaning and purpose of one's life and the civilization in which that life is lived. It is, ultimately, a moral answer to a moral question: The question of the value people ascribe to their own families and their own heritage, in a broader cultural context."
It's especially comforting to know that God does wonderful things within institutions of selflessness. Marriage, for example is an incomparable means to what I call the liberation of servitude, a humility of mind that frees you up to serve your beloved spouse unconditionally. Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Raising children is also a humbling experience. Yet, "Children are a blessing from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward… Blessed is the man who fills his quiver full of them!" (Psalm 127:3,5)
Today Al Mohler commented on the reign of selfishness in the hearts of those who eschew children for self and comfort in the context of Europe's endangered population replacement rates. Mohler shares insights from Azure magazine's Noah Pollack on http://almohler.com/
"The explanation for Europe's turn from reproducing its civilization is, in fact, as simple and self-contained as how children themselves are viewed. People avoid having children not because they are irreligious, lack financial means, fear the possibility of divorce, or carry university degrees. Rather, people do not have children because they do not want them: They find the curtailment of personal freedom and the assumption of the decades-long obligation inherent in parenthood unattractive, and they do not want to accept the basic restructuring of life that having a family requires. This is not a product of objective economic or social factors; rather, it is a subjective judgment about the meaning and purpose of one's life and the civilization in which that life is lived. It is, ultimately, a moral answer to a moral question: The question of the value people ascribe to their own families and their own heritage, in a broader cultural context."
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
two years, two months - part seven
The Photographer.
We found a wedding photographer who put us at ease when we talked with him on the phone. This was important because he was offering his services free of charge. It would be an off season, after all, and it would build his portfolio.
Come December, however, he failed to check in with us, and even ignored our calls. We know he ignored our calls because anytime we called from a number we'd given him, he wouldn't pick up, and whenever we used an unfamiliar one and he did, upon discovering what the call was about, he'd feign a bad line. He did this twice.
Happily, though, Grace had initially asked Nathan if he would shoot our wedding. He felt unqualified, though, and agreed only to supplement whichever professional photographer we got.
The night before our morning wedding, we realized that Nathan was in fact our only photographer, and we called him as he was en route to LA. Ever a servant, he agreed and had a nice, new camera with which to shoot. So new, in fact, that he was still reading the manual in the car on the way to the church.
Nate took such good pictures of his first wedding, that we consider it a blessing that he was the sole photographer, and that we can commend his talents and humility whenever we recount our wedding story.
We found a wedding photographer who put us at ease when we talked with him on the phone. This was important because he was offering his services free of charge. It would be an off season, after all, and it would build his portfolio.
Come December, however, he failed to check in with us, and even ignored our calls. We know he ignored our calls because anytime we called from a number we'd given him, he wouldn't pick up, and whenever we used an unfamiliar one and he did, upon discovering what the call was about, he'd feign a bad line. He did this twice.
Happily, though, Grace had initially asked Nathan if he would shoot our wedding. He felt unqualified, though, and agreed only to supplement whichever professional photographer we got.
The night before our morning wedding, we realized that Nathan was in fact our only photographer, and we called him as he was en route to LA. Ever a servant, he agreed and had a nice, new camera with which to shoot. So new, in fact, that he was still reading the manual in the car on the way to the church.
Nate took such good pictures of his first wedding, that we consider it a blessing that he was the sole photographer, and that we can commend his talents and humility whenever we recount our wedding story.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
two years, two months - part six
Around the beginning of autumn, I brought my car in for a tune-up or something, and the mechanic gave me a list of too many things that were wrong with my car, repairs of which far exceeded the worth of my 11-year old, second owner's low-end Mazda. This would've been a much bigger problem had the mechanic not wanted to sell his daughter's car, and had he not been familiar to and trusted by my dad.
So, with my parents' help, I was soon re-acquainting myself with a manual transmission in a '97 Ford Taurus through the thankfully desolate streets of my neighborhood. In retrospect, I can't think of a better place to learn stick in the city of Chicago than my neighborhood near United Center.
This is worth noting because it was this newly mastered skill that would serve me weeks later in California.
In looking for a job in the Stockton area, a prospective employer in Manteca flew me out in November for an interview. Grace's long-time Stockton friend, Clarence, and his wife, Sandra, graciously put me up and offered me the use of their stick shift car.
I had misgivings about the job I interviewed for, but while there, was able to interview for the job I now have. Kimberly, the wife of another of Grace's long-time Stockton friends, Nathan, worked in Stockton and had a connection to he who would become my future boss. She got word that a good marketing position was open, and I followed it up.
I returned to Chicago and soon ran into the nerve-racking course of decision-making that is being offered a job you don't want in light of another potential one.
Soon, however, time yielded God's will for my employment, and I was offered the position of Marketing Senior Specialist. I had a job waiting for me in Stockton.
Coincidentally, Grace's contracted position with MBI was to end that December and news came that her position would not be renewed. Her leave of employment in Chicago was facilitated at the end of December.
God was continually gracing us with His providence, putting in place the requirements for our new life in California.
The end of the year cumulated with a December 17th wedding in LA, a short 3-day honeymoon drive through Napa, Christmas in Stockton with Grace's family, a return at the end of the month to Chicago for Grace's and my final days at our jobs, Christmas with my family, and a New Year's Eve celebration for those who didn't fly to LA for our wedding.
Our one-way flight to Sacramento airport would bring us into Stockton Sunday, January 8, and my first day of work would be the 9th. Clarence and Sandra graciously agreed to house us for two weeks, and out of God's abundant blessings, Nathan and Kim, found for us a house in a wonderful neighborhood.
So, with my parents' help, I was soon re-acquainting myself with a manual transmission in a '97 Ford Taurus through the thankfully desolate streets of my neighborhood. In retrospect, I can't think of a better place to learn stick in the city of Chicago than my neighborhood near United Center.
This is worth noting because it was this newly mastered skill that would serve me weeks later in California.
In looking for a job in the Stockton area, a prospective employer in Manteca flew me out in November for an interview. Grace's long-time Stockton friend, Clarence, and his wife, Sandra, graciously put me up and offered me the use of their stick shift car.
I had misgivings about the job I interviewed for, but while there, was able to interview for the job I now have. Kimberly, the wife of another of Grace's long-time Stockton friends, Nathan, worked in Stockton and had a connection to he who would become my future boss. She got word that a good marketing position was open, and I followed it up.
I returned to Chicago and soon ran into the nerve-racking course of decision-making that is being offered a job you don't want in light of another potential one.
Soon, however, time yielded God's will for my employment, and I was offered the position of Marketing Senior Specialist. I had a job waiting for me in Stockton.
Coincidentally, Grace's contracted position with MBI was to end that December and news came that her position would not be renewed. Her leave of employment in Chicago was facilitated at the end of December.
God was continually gracing us with His providence, putting in place the requirements for our new life in California.
The end of the year cumulated with a December 17th wedding in LA, a short 3-day honeymoon drive through Napa, Christmas in Stockton with Grace's family, a return at the end of the month to Chicago for Grace's and my final days at our jobs, Christmas with my family, and a New Year's Eve celebration for those who didn't fly to LA for our wedding.
Our one-way flight to Sacramento airport would bring us into Stockton Sunday, January 8, and my first day of work would be the 9th. Clarence and Sandra graciously agreed to house us for two weeks, and out of God's abundant blessings, Nathan and Kim, found for us a house in a wonderful neighborhood.
Catch up
Sometimes the only time I have to journal is when I have nothing with me but my BlackBerry. This is the delayed accumulation of the best of the past few weeks...
Friday, July 20
In the past year and a half, the most demonstrably excited I’ve gotten was when my friend told me that Alec Baldwin had received Christ as his Savior. It seemed particularly sweet because I naturally assumed that his brother Stephen had led him to Christ. It turned out my friend had actually mistaken Alec for Stephen, but my initial reaction was nonetheless so animated that it even struck me as an unusual outburst of excitement. I’m generally not given to boisterous expression of things that excite and delight me (Grace excels at that trait). I therefore deduced from this that the ultimate passion of my heart, the cause for greatest celebration, is to see people reconciled to God.
Recently, a friend told me that three of our friends in college, solid Christians at the time, have become raging atheists. This shocked me. In fact, it’s rare that I’m this shocked. It stuck with me. I suppose it follows, then, that what would bring me the most excitement would also bring commensurate shock when the formula is reversed.
Tuesday, July 24
Spent most of the day hanging around a video shoot for Allison Transmissions, which will incorporate Bill Nye the Science Guy. I got to take lotsa pictures of buses. This will aid me when I look for material for print ads.
Monday, Aug. 6
At 4am, Pesci’s wailing woke me up, so I went out to give him some assurance. I don’t know what a cat is thinking when he yowls in the middle of the night, but meeting him seemed to turn his wailing into purring. Willie was not far behind, so I visited with my two kitties in the dark of the front hallway. I sat briefly on the floor and enjoyed the sound of dual purring and the feel of cat heads visiting my hands.
I listened to a Ravi Zacharias podcast on Jonah while on the treadmill, and Ravi made the point that when Jonah was heading away from the will of God, he was making the mistake of declaring the Ninevites immoral while forgetting that immorality is always preceded by impiety. We as a nation are wrong morally because we are irreverent in our hearts.
Jonah was asleep in the boat en route to the opposite direction of Nineveh. God said, “Arise!” In the Hebrew, this means, “Wake up!”
When we know what we are doing is wrong, we have to keep moving, lest our morality convict us. Jonah couldn’t afford to stop and give his thoughts pause. He didn’t want to hear God’s voice.
I thought of what a friend once told me about a girl who didn’t like to be alone and left to her own thoughts. We cannot flee our morality. Many of us go on flirting with danger, afraid to stop, lest the consequences, the implications, the doubts catch up to our attempts to outrun them.
My shins have begun to itch once again, and so I must apply flucinonide twice a day. I don’t mind Stockton, but I hate central valley air.
Friday, July 20
In the past year and a half, the most demonstrably excited I’ve gotten was when my friend told me that Alec Baldwin had received Christ as his Savior. It seemed particularly sweet because I naturally assumed that his brother Stephen had led him to Christ. It turned out my friend had actually mistaken Alec for Stephen, but my initial reaction was nonetheless so animated that it even struck me as an unusual outburst of excitement. I’m generally not given to boisterous expression of things that excite and delight me (Grace excels at that trait). I therefore deduced from this that the ultimate passion of my heart, the cause for greatest celebration, is to see people reconciled to God.
Recently, a friend told me that three of our friends in college, solid Christians at the time, have become raging atheists. This shocked me. In fact, it’s rare that I’m this shocked. It stuck with me. I suppose it follows, then, that what would bring me the most excitement would also bring commensurate shock when the formula is reversed.
Tuesday, July 24
Spent most of the day hanging around a video shoot for Allison Transmissions, which will incorporate Bill Nye the Science Guy. I got to take lotsa pictures of buses. This will aid me when I look for material for print ads.
Monday, Aug. 6
At 4am, Pesci’s wailing woke me up, so I went out to give him some assurance. I don’t know what a cat is thinking when he yowls in the middle of the night, but meeting him seemed to turn his wailing into purring. Willie was not far behind, so I visited with my two kitties in the dark of the front hallway. I sat briefly on the floor and enjoyed the sound of dual purring and the feel of cat heads visiting my hands.
I listened to a Ravi Zacharias podcast on Jonah while on the treadmill, and Ravi made the point that when Jonah was heading away from the will of God, he was making the mistake of declaring the Ninevites immoral while forgetting that immorality is always preceded by impiety. We as a nation are wrong morally because we are irreverent in our hearts.
Jonah was asleep in the boat en route to the opposite direction of Nineveh. God said, “Arise!” In the Hebrew, this means, “Wake up!”
When we know what we are doing is wrong, we have to keep moving, lest our morality convict us. Jonah couldn’t afford to stop and give his thoughts pause. He didn’t want to hear God’s voice.
I thought of what a friend once told me about a girl who didn’t like to be alone and left to her own thoughts. We cannot flee our morality. Many of us go on flirting with danger, afraid to stop, lest the consequences, the implications, the doubts catch up to our attempts to outrun them.
My shins have begun to itch once again, and so I must apply flucinonide twice a day. I don’t mind Stockton, but I hate central valley air.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
two years, two months - part five
I had decided to propose to grace on her birthday but some time before that, her mom became ill.
Two days before grace’s birthday, on Thursday, October 13th, I was leaving Bible Study Fellowship when she called. As I stood by my bike on the sidewalk outside of the Ravenswood church in which BSF met, she told me that her mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer.
Grace had decided that she would move back to Stockton, California to be with her mom, and I had already told her that I’d follow her anywhere (within what we determined was God’s will), so I had no trouble continuing with my proposal plan.
I suggested we go to Evanston beach and when we had settled on the big rocks there, I asked her to marry me. Grace looked somewhat concerned in her silence. She expressed her desire to marry me, along with her reservations about the timing in regard to her mother’s uncertain future.
Let me state here that marriage is a daunting undertaking when considered soberly in all its implications, even when circumstances are ideal. It is, as the pastor who married us said, “the second most important decision you’ll make in your life.”
But the overriding peace that passes understanding for followers of God’s risen Son gives tremendous confidence to those who acknowledge marriage as God’s plan for refinement of character, and that which brings him glory. It is a transaction between Creator and creature wherein the recipient not only enjoys the gift of wedded bliss but also finds the incentive to use it as a testament to God’s greatness.
It is the confidence that comes from godly submission (humility in marriage informed by humility before the living God) that girded me and freed me to be excited about participating in God’s plan for creatures He designed for relationship.
So we prayed to the author of marriage, the creator of man and woman. In praying about it there on the lakefront, the Holy Spirit gave Grace the peace of mind to say yes. Grace apologized for taking away from an idyllic, uninterrupted marriage proposal, to which I replied that it’s nonetheless ideal because too much confidence in ourselves could hinder a greater prayerful reliance on the Lord.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
We celebrated our decision over Ethiopian food, sharing injeras and beef cubes at Diamond in Edgewater.
One of the extraordinary blessings of our history together is the abundance of godly counsel we had at our disposal, taken as pre-marital counseling. Since time was of the essence, we wanted to marry as soon as possible, rather than on some vague summerish date next year, the way we’d casually discussed when we were carefree and giddy and given to reckless talk of marriage.
We met with our Sunday School pastor, Steve, whose mother had died from cancer. He encouraged us to marry soon and get out to California to be with her as soon as possible.
Our next point of counsel were a couple of professors at Moody Bible Institute. One was Dr. Sauer, our beloved Song of Solomon teacher.
Dr. Sauer said that normally he’d give greater caution against a rushed engagement (After all, we hadn’t had our first fight yet), but he recognized the difference our age and maturity made.
Dr. Sigler, a professor with whom Grace worked on a biblical hermeneutics (interpretation) course, agreed and, knowing Grace well, blessed our decision.
At some point, Grace’s best friend Angie offered a suggestion which would determine the date and location of our wedding. Angie and her husband Dan were in preparations for becoming long-term missionaries to Senegal, and had Grace Community Church in LA booked for December 17th to raise support. After some deliberation and prayer, my parents and we agreed on a morning wedding at what had been Grace’s church when she was at UCLA.
Grace is a caring friend an an exuberant communicator. She cherishes her friendships and it shows. She, unlike me, can talk for hours with friends of like gender, and genuinely prize the unadorned engagement of minds above all other social activity. Her friends are similarly giving of themselves, and they set about doing the various tasks a wedding requires.
We, meanwhile, set about creating invitations (grace has wonderful handwriting… small, but wonderful), recording mix CDs, filling registries, and giving direction for the myriad components of our west coast wedding to come.
A sweet young engaged couple in the college writing class that Grace taught at Moody offered to take our engagement pictures, and we made the most of it, frolicking down Chicago Avenue, eating at Iberico, posing on Magnificent Mile, praying at 4th Presbyterian, dancing at Water Tower Park, climbing a tree by the Lake Shore Drive S-curve, and scampering through the sand at Oak Street Beach.
I stayed late at work scanning childhood photos of us and designing our CD packaging while Grace used the A/V resources at MBI to duplicate our wedding mix and cut the chocolate brown and pink paper (from Paper Source’s yearly warehouse sale) into invitation components.
We worked hard for two months preparing a wedding, looking for work, and packing for California.
Two days before grace’s birthday, on Thursday, October 13th, I was leaving Bible Study Fellowship when she called. As I stood by my bike on the sidewalk outside of the Ravenswood church in which BSF met, she told me that her mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer.
Grace had decided that she would move back to Stockton, California to be with her mom, and I had already told her that I’d follow her anywhere (within what we determined was God’s will), so I had no trouble continuing with my proposal plan.
I suggested we go to Evanston beach and when we had settled on the big rocks there, I asked her to marry me. Grace looked somewhat concerned in her silence. She expressed her desire to marry me, along with her reservations about the timing in regard to her mother’s uncertain future.
Let me state here that marriage is a daunting undertaking when considered soberly in all its implications, even when circumstances are ideal. It is, as the pastor who married us said, “the second most important decision you’ll make in your life.”
But the overriding peace that passes understanding for followers of God’s risen Son gives tremendous confidence to those who acknowledge marriage as God’s plan for refinement of character, and that which brings him glory. It is a transaction between Creator and creature wherein the recipient not only enjoys the gift of wedded bliss but also finds the incentive to use it as a testament to God’s greatness.
It is the confidence that comes from godly submission (humility in marriage informed by humility before the living God) that girded me and freed me to be excited about participating in God’s plan for creatures He designed for relationship.
So we prayed to the author of marriage, the creator of man and woman. In praying about it there on the lakefront, the Holy Spirit gave Grace the peace of mind to say yes. Grace apologized for taking away from an idyllic, uninterrupted marriage proposal, to which I replied that it’s nonetheless ideal because too much confidence in ourselves could hinder a greater prayerful reliance on the Lord.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
We celebrated our decision over Ethiopian food, sharing injeras and beef cubes at Diamond in Edgewater.
One of the extraordinary blessings of our history together is the abundance of godly counsel we had at our disposal, taken as pre-marital counseling. Since time was of the essence, we wanted to marry as soon as possible, rather than on some vague summerish date next year, the way we’d casually discussed when we were carefree and giddy and given to reckless talk of marriage.
We met with our Sunday School pastor, Steve, whose mother had died from cancer. He encouraged us to marry soon and get out to California to be with her as soon as possible.
Our next point of counsel were a couple of professors at Moody Bible Institute. One was Dr. Sauer, our beloved Song of Solomon teacher.
Dr. Sauer said that normally he’d give greater caution against a rushed engagement (After all, we hadn’t had our first fight yet), but he recognized the difference our age and maturity made.
Dr. Sigler, a professor with whom Grace worked on a biblical hermeneutics (interpretation) course, agreed and, knowing Grace well, blessed our decision.
At some point, Grace’s best friend Angie offered a suggestion which would determine the date and location of our wedding. Angie and her husband Dan were in preparations for becoming long-term missionaries to Senegal, and had Grace Community Church in LA booked for December 17th to raise support. After some deliberation and prayer, my parents and we agreed on a morning wedding at what had been Grace’s church when she was at UCLA.
Grace is a caring friend an an exuberant communicator. She cherishes her friendships and it shows. She, unlike me, can talk for hours with friends of like gender, and genuinely prize the unadorned engagement of minds above all other social activity. Her friends are similarly giving of themselves, and they set about doing the various tasks a wedding requires.
We, meanwhile, set about creating invitations (grace has wonderful handwriting… small, but wonderful), recording mix CDs, filling registries, and giving direction for the myriad components of our west coast wedding to come.
A sweet young engaged couple in the college writing class that Grace taught at Moody offered to take our engagement pictures, and we made the most of it, frolicking down Chicago Avenue, eating at Iberico, posing on Magnificent Mile, praying at 4th Presbyterian, dancing at Water Tower Park, climbing a tree by the Lake Shore Drive S-curve, and scampering through the sand at Oak Street Beach.
I stayed late at work scanning childhood photos of us and designing our CD packaging while Grace used the A/V resources at MBI to duplicate our wedding mix and cut the chocolate brown and pink paper (from Paper Source’s yearly warehouse sale) into invitation components.
We worked hard for two months preparing a wedding, looking for work, and packing for California.
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