two years, two months - part five

I had decided to propose to grace on her birthday but some time before that, her mom became ill.
Two days before grace’s birthday, on Thursday, October 13th, I was leaving Bible Study Fellowship when she called. As I stood by my bike on the sidewalk outside of the Ravenswood church in which BSF met, she told me that her mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer.
Grace had decided that she would move back to Stockton, California to be with her mom, and I had already told her that I’d follow her anywhere (within what we determined was God’s will), so I had no trouble continuing with my proposal plan.

I suggested we go to Evanston beach and when we had settled on the big rocks there, I asked her to marry me. Grace looked somewhat concerned in her silence. She expressed her desire to marry me, along with her reservations about the timing in regard to her mother’s uncertain future.

Let me state here that marriage is a daunting undertaking when considered soberly in all its implications, even when circumstances are ideal. It is, as the pastor who married us said, “the second most important decision you’ll make in your life.”
But the overriding peace that passes understanding for followers of God’s risen Son gives tremendous confidence to those who acknowledge marriage as God’s plan for refinement of character, and that which brings him glory. It is a transaction between Creator and creature wherein the recipient not only enjoys the gift of wedded bliss but also finds the incentive to use it as a testament to God’s greatness.
It is the confidence that comes from godly submission (humility in marriage informed by humility before the living God) that girded me and freed me to be excited about participating in God’s plan for creatures He designed for relationship.

So we prayed to the author of marriage, the creator of man and woman. In praying about it there on the lakefront, the Holy Spirit gave Grace the peace of mind to say yes. Grace apologized for taking away from an idyllic, uninterrupted marriage proposal, to which I replied that it’s nonetheless ideal because too much confidence in ourselves could hinder a greater prayerful reliance on the Lord.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

We celebrated our decision over Ethiopian food, sharing injeras and beef cubes at Diamond in Edgewater.

One of the extraordinary blessings of our history together is the abundance of godly counsel we had at our disposal, taken as pre-marital counseling. Since time was of the essence, we wanted to marry as soon as possible, rather than on some vague summerish date next year, the way we’d casually discussed when we were carefree and giddy and given to reckless talk of marriage.

We met with our Sunday School pastor, Steve, whose mother had died from cancer. He encouraged us to marry soon and get out to California to be with her as soon as possible.
Our next point of counsel were a couple of professors at Moody Bible Institute. One was Dr. Sauer, our beloved Song of Solomon teacher.

Dr. Sauer said that normally he’d give greater caution against a rushed engagement (After all, we hadn’t had our first fight yet), but he recognized the difference our age and maturity made.

Dr. Sigler, a professor with whom Grace worked on a biblical hermeneutics (interpretation) course, agreed and, knowing Grace well, blessed our decision.

At some point, Grace’s best friend Angie offered a suggestion which would determine the date and location of our wedding. Angie and her husband Dan were in preparations for becoming long-term missionaries to Senegal, and had Grace Community Church in LA booked for December 17th to raise support. After some deliberation and prayer, my parents and we agreed on a morning wedding at what had been Grace’s church when she was at UCLA.

Grace is a caring friend an an exuberant communicator. She cherishes her friendships and it shows. She, unlike me, can talk for hours with friends of like gender, and genuinely prize the unadorned engagement of minds above all other social activity. Her friends are similarly giving of themselves, and they set about doing the various tasks a wedding requires.
We, meanwhile, set about creating invitations (grace has wonderful handwriting… small, but wonderful), recording mix CDs, filling registries, and giving direction for the myriad components of our west coast wedding to come.

A sweet young engaged couple in the college writing class that Grace taught at Moody offered to take our engagement pictures, and we made the most of it, frolicking down Chicago Avenue, eating at Iberico, posing on Magnificent Mile, praying at 4th Presbyterian, dancing at Water Tower Park, climbing a tree by the Lake Shore Drive S-curve, and scampering through the sand at Oak Street Beach.

I stayed late at work scanning childhood photos of us and designing our CD packaging while Grace used the A/V resources at MBI to duplicate our wedding mix and cut the chocolate brown and pink paper (from Paper Source’s yearly warehouse sale) into invitation components.

We worked hard for two months preparing a wedding, looking for work, and packing for California.